Missing The Ideal Figure….

Recently, all media both electronic and printed are busy talking about the next President that will be coming on July 9, 2009.. They reported how the racing goes  : campaign activities, profiles, candidate’s agenda, war  of mouth between candidates.   This mass media help us to get information and help the candidates to create their sweet images become a leader.

So far we have been through itinerary of democratic system from authoritative system until people power system. Since the Independence Day in 1945, we already had 7 presidents. Were they real the Ideal Figure?  Every Indonesian has their own answer. Every person have their own criteria. Sadly, a criterion is not guaranteed represent character, moral and behavior. Even more, criteria it self can be built by aggressive campaign to develop “The Perceptions”. How good do you want to be seen? Is it generous and help poor people?  Easy, just make a short video in term of trying to win people’s heart and mind by embracing poor people, talk & walk together with them in dirty traditional market, while the hands hugging them, don’t forget big smile, a super sweet smile, and give them a piece of small paper looks like a check! What those figure looks like? A Leader who down to earth, humble, pay attention and listening poor people aspirations, open for any complaint. And Blah…. only with few millions rupiah, the character has been built!

So many definitions about how to be a good Leader” it self. Truthfully, there are many secrets to becoming an ideal leader. John C. Maxwell, a highly reputed authority on leadership once said: “A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position”. In this quote, John C. Maxwell identifies the very first secret to becoming an ideal leader : must have vision.

The most famous Candidate US President, Barack Obama, his popularity such a like Hollywood celebrity. Suddenly every where, kids, teenagers, ladies, house wives, young professionals, not only in America but also in outside the country become “Obamaniac”. Even more in some regions, Obama’s decisive victory was larger than most people realize. His rival John Mc Cain make him famous by comparing him with Paris Hilton & Britney Spears, many people disappointed with what Mc Cain has done, not because Obama has been bullied, but Mc Cain lost the sympathy, a leader not suppose to jeer other people in any reason.  Anyway, Instead of Obama campaign staffers worked and his talent for picking skill his strategist team to mobilize the supporter, he is a good Orator. He built his charisma as a leader since he was an Senator of Illinois in 2004. Check out the Obama’s speech that made him famous, showing his vision to America..I quoted in his last paragraph “If there’s a child on the south side of Chicago who can’t read, that matters to me, even if it’s not my child. If there’s a senior citizen somewhere who can’t pay for their prescription and having to choose between medicine and the rent, that makes my life poorer, even if it’s not my grandparent. If there’s an Arab-American family being rounded up without benefit of an attorney or due process, that threatens my civil liberties. It is that fundamental belief — I am my brother’s keeper, I am my sisters’ keeper — that makes this country work. America, tonight, if you feel the same energy that I do, if you feel the same urgency that I do, if you feel the same passion that I do, if you feel the same hopefulness that I do, if we do what we must do, then I have no doubt that all across the country, from Florida to Oregon, from Washington to Maine. And this country will reclaim its promise. And out of this long political darkness a brighter day will come” Obama as the first African-American President,  gave a signal to all minority groups that they too can achieve their dreams if they persevere.the struggle may be long and hard but all people can eventually succuud. He prove him self as a great politician. And he have “style” that make him different with other former US President.

Its has been 2 round Presidential Elections since new democratic system (people are able to choose their president directly), but seems that the reform era Indonesia hasn’t showed the good performance yet, because we still have limited good & qualified potential leader,  some of the country’s leader candidates lack the ability or will to deal with the numerous fundamental problems. As a developing country, we have a lot of economic & social problems : education, poverty, corruption (KKN), lack of public services, etc. Our nations need a strong leader who have ability to guide the nation, guard the nation from disaster and bring the nation get out from the anxiety, which would be reflected in his/her track record and programs.

The nature of our nation is we rely on the figure of the leader. The community is yet to be independent in improving our lives because the things related to the system are influenced by this type of leadership. The irony was we have had experience having a leader who’s elected because of political lobbying, only for certain people interest that suit the wishes of certain parties, not represented nation needed and incapable as a leader and lack of ability dealing with nations problem, even more he didn’t look great at all. During his presidency, the KKN (corruption, collusion & nepotism) affairs came up and after since staged a huge rally demanding his resignation happen every day and in every regions.

Sadly, Indonesian people who living in small regions, small cities, mostly are less of educated, who easily influenced by sweet promises or money. They only seeing a figure that seems strong, giving them benefit in short time (during the campaign) without ever questioning his spirit and vision to take Indonesia toward democracy. They are enamored by the figure, not on what the leader should be doing.

As we knew, all the candidates today are Famous Politician in previous era, famous with their own achievements, both good and bad. Some of them were involved in against Human Right Issues, one of them was had corruption issues. But they are untouchable people, who have power, money and good political networking.

We don’t have Obama who have faith to his country or we don’t have Mahatma Gandhi who called his people live modestly and made him self as role model for his aspiration or we don’t have leader like a prophet who devoted his life and his soul for his people.

I quoted some of Indonesian wishes for our leader :

“Ideal figure should have a strong commitment to serving the public wholeheartedly”

“Leader should pay full and serious attention to public services, especially the needy that constitute the majority of the country’s population”

“An ideal leader should have a clear vision and mission to alleviate poverty, empower the poverty-stricken people and fight against the rampant corruption”

“The poor transportation system in the city, the recent evictions of the poor, the expensive health care services and education is a true reflection of the bad governance”

“An ideal leader should be down to the earth and dedicate a major part of his/her time to the people”

“should be able and committed to accommodating what a majority of the people want them to do. They must listen to the people and have a deep empathy to the people’s hard lives”

Anyway, the candidates already selected. Like it or not, we have to get prepared for the election. Our job is pay attention and aware with every candidates vision and mission. We should ask this candidates to spell out his vision and mission. They must have clear agenda and must be reflected in his behavior attitude.What will he/she doing ongoing crisis, how far they concern to solve the education and poverty, what the policies they will take on developing the economy, etc. And I think we need to take a look back, their achievement and their track record in the past (previous job position).  It help to describe what kind of the leader they were. In this case, it is not a matter of being supported or not or winning in a convention or not or being approved by Muslim clerics or not!

So, at present we need a visionary leader, not simply a figure that has a particular capability and quality. A visionary leader is one who takes into account the future of his people and not one who reduces the fate of his people into capital accumulation. We need only concrete action, instead of empty rhetoric and nonsense statements.

FEELING LOST

Have you ever been feeling “LOST”?  Like when you’re in empty place, you have no directions, you don’t know what to do, feel empty and lonely..  usually they catch up pretty quick, can not avoid it.  Have no time to get prepared!

Where the lost come from?  It’s triggered from the devil called “FEAR”. Fear denotes several different, though related, psychological states.  Afraid of something, afraid to do something, afraid that something will happen, or just simply afraid.

Dealing with any kind of  fear have each own level, the hardest is dealing with “Afraid of Loosing something”, something that made you comfortable and happy with it.  No one can have the real feeling of losing, unless they had lost someone special, someone that you care most.

I had different feeling of Losing when my Father passed away,  and when my sister away from family and when my friends away and when I broke up with someone special.

I had biggest lost and felt guilty came along when my Dad passed away 9 years ago. He devoted all his life, all his energy, all his time, all his money, all his love to me without I asking for it. And He never asked me back for what ever he had spent to me!!   And I think what I have done during his life, haven’t pleased him enough yet. Even in his last minute of his life, I couldn’t fulfill his wish that he whispered to my mum’s ear : attending my wedding! as I am the youngest daughter in family.  I miss just about every little thing about him.  The one thing I don’t miss is the pain he had to contend with. The colon cancer and diabetes that he had, took his happiness away.  Our relationship has a highest meaning, maybe it’s The Top Level Purity Of LOVE called UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, without benefit, always giving without asking, never asking back, never hurt each other, always accepted what ever we were,  have a faith each others.  Yes, he has away, but its just the body, his spirit, his love and his soul keep stay with me. And I did realize that how fleeting life can be and no one can prevent his from happening.

This feeling is totally different when I lost someone special. It always hurt at the end.  I have no idea, why it bring pain and hurt whereas we started with care & love?  Maybe because I was expecting more,   Someone that I expected  can count each other on it ; someone who can sharing live&care&love with it ;  someone that I expected make us both feeling cosy around ; someone that I expected loving each other without took one of us for granted ; someone that I expected won’t hurt each other.

The feeling of empty, despair, disappointment, unfair, alone had started haunting coming along with separation proceeding.  Maybe because all that I expected was hard to happen.  The difficult situation to deal with is the Separation proceedings, that are usually hostile and confrontational so will always left a bad mood and stressed.  This experienced left traumatic feeling inside.  Though I knew I can accept being apart and separate, but it just difficult coping with the separation proceeding.

Only once in my relationship, that I’ve already felt Lost while the relationship still moving on. It’s weird..  Usually I felt lost when the broken up happen. I felt LOVE as well as LOST in the same time. Love and Lost walk together. Feeling LOST started when I found something went wrong with our relationship, something went out of the track, something that break the commitment.  With LOVE, I compromised and forgave.  But then later after few months another issue came up and I felt LOST again for then second time when I found he’s still in love with someone in his past that he admitted already broken up. The fear of losing a loved one started haunting. And it’s hard to get away from this fear, because the trauma that I had before from previous relationship, the trauma that made me avoid any relationship for 7 years.

Maybe it was my fault, I was too naive, I thought when someone have intention and passion and said “I care about you a lot and wanna be your boyfriend and do things together” has same meaning with “Hey dear, I Love You”.  I thought it was just other way saying “love” or it’s just other implicit expression because someone is not used to say ‘love’ directly.  Maybe I was bullied with Love that I thought holy and pure, but the fact it’s just like an angel wearing devil clothes. Or maybe it’s just someone abused it.  I’m just ordinary girl, wanna LOVE and TO BE LOVED!  Am I wrong?  Am I over reacting?

I was stressed..  Dilemma between loving someone, enjoying having bf around,  and the  mean time expecting truly happiness that have yet to come.  I was so confused what should I did?  I asked professional opinion from psychologist who’s friend of mine, she challenged me with some questions, After you found he cheated what did you feel? I said “down, shocked,  lost my confident, blaming him and blaming my self”.  Did you accept it “Trying to accept what ever he is”.  How did you accept it “Tolerance and compromise”.   How was it? “It was difficult at the first time but I believe I can through this, I’ll be fine”.  So what’s your problem then “ Maybe I can forgive him for what have he done. I believe with my feeling, but I didn’t believe with his feeling to me”.  Why you didn’t believe him “He told me he had feeling with someone else in his past, his ex gf !! I was disappointed he lied to me since the first place”.  Then why you didn’t leave him “Maybe because I already love him” .  Is he loves you “I don’t know”. Why you still keep being with someone that even your self not sure whether he loves you or not “ Maybe I was afraid loosing someone that I loved, the proceeding & grieving of  losing made me trauma”.  And then she said “You have to face it as adult ; I know it is difficult and it is suck, but  it doesn’t mean you have to waste your time  and take a side your feeling . All what you have to do is dealing with your fear. You have to decide your own border. Without your border, you won’t get out from this circumstances. Enjoy your life, you have chance and right live happily instead of live in sadness and pain.

Ohh Goosshh… she was damn right!!! And I was stupid enough to let my self down.  I started put my pieces back together to form what it used to be, like organizing puzzles,  manage my self, bring my confidence back, dealing with my fear, and finding my own border. And while the time have been moving on, I tested which one the feeling was getting stronger, was that  “LOVE” or “LOST”. The more I got hurt, the more I got my self “Lost”, the more quickly I recovered, because I put something in my mind “I didn’t want to let my self being down while the time is moving on”

One of the symptoms of feeling lost "No Directions"

It’s felt like when problem pushed me down indeed until I felt exhausted and led me to some points whereas I  felt tired and  wanna get out from this anxiety.  Yeah,  I became neglected,  even I believe he met & dated again with his ex gf while he went back home.  I felt fed up, my energy was running out… I closed my eyes and ears and my heart,  it was cold like an ice rock in fireplace, struggling from melting.  What ever it would be, let it be.  I’ve just thought about my self.

After all my experience that I’ve been through, I’m struggling to manage my self as well for not afraid facing and dealing with Feeling Lost. I’m fighting to get my self back as before. Though sometimes I felt up and down, and sometimes doubt came along, But I believe It’s the matter of the time. Time will make me stronger.

FACEBOOK, MOBILE PHONE AND MUSLIM

NU's FB managed by NU Egypt

Quoted on Jakarta Post last Saturday and Sunday about NU have banned Facebook, Friendster and Other just because they used for Gossiping and potential lead to extramarital affairs instead of used to spread Islamic

Teaching, said NU Spokesman Abdul Muid.

After Facebook , they have issued an edict banning communication between sexes using mobile phone. Again he said “Communication using mobile phone was prone to adultery, especially between sexes.

I was surprised, how come they have opinion “Technology is haram”. And all the relationship among sexes is ‘zina”.  How we can survive with this perceptions.

I guess NU’s people in here haven’t knew yet that their organization in Egypt have Facebook as well to build the community.  The question is :  Indonesian NU talked based on what?  Was it from Quran?  How come their internal organization  have different perception about this?

Opposite with NU, another Muslim Organization Muhamaddiyah is more realistic through their man, Nadjib Hamid Secretary of East Java Region recomended the people to use Facebook and other Online Social Networking in good way. He said Facebook is a blessed from Technology and it become “halal” and “wajib” to evolve people’s prosperity.

I never stop thinking how come this people who positioned them self as a leader give poor statement without proper perception and lack of logical thinking that generates controversial responded.  Even they haven’t thought, with their poor statement is able to make people reluctant to join Islam because they thought Islam is not modern religion and Islam has no capability to follow the technology.

Well… Lets take a positive side instead of the negative side about Technology. Mobile Phones, Internet or whatever, all of them have essential part. The analogy like this, technology is just like a “Road” as backbone infrastructure, which is the function is transportation, carrier :  communications & science & knowledge,  networking  around the world faster and more effective.  Many people using it for good way and bad way as well.  If people using it in bad way, for example criminal, human trafficking, mobile sex trading or mobile gambling.  The question is should we CLOSED The Road, whereas in the mean time many people using it for public transportation,  delivering goods and food,  connecting city to city and a lot of other benefits. Again it’s back to PERSONAL it self.

As I know as a muslim,  Islam give us an order to make and maintain “Silaturahmi”, it has meaning telling us to expand networking without border.  God bless a mankind as “Sociable Human and Dependent” each other.  So stick with that.

I’m Blackberry freak, this Gadget allows me connecting Internet 24 hours and communicating with my colleagues and relative 24 hours.  This Gadget SAVE my life!  In my experience,  I took a lot of advantages from this, instead of disadvantages,  I can do my job well,  with using search internet engine I’m often looking reference that support my analysis, I found variety of Information and knowledge more than I expected and  I believe I won’t get such like this information if I looked them in book stores.  And I got it with CHEAP, FASTER, UPDATE and COMPLETE.  With this gadget, I’m able to respond an email as soon as I got and solved the problem right away, and the result is  my customer satisfied and as well as my company.  And also I found back my relatives and my childhood friends in FB.  So whats wrong with that!!

I’m desperate with this….  How come We become  “LEADER” and “THRIVING NATION”  if we’re still busy with narrow minded instead of open minded facing the globalization and advancement of technology!

If The issue is about SEX and PORNOGRAPHY, and they banned anything related with that,  SO have the Clerics heard and read about “Jakarta Under Cover”  that talked a lot about Sex Trading in the city based on real investigation..  Naaaahhh… why You Guys don’t start with that things, it’s clearly about Sex Commercial!!

If you guys banned Internet, Facebook, mobile phone or anything related with this technology,  It’s Same as you  LOCKED us in JAIL, ISOLATED us from knowledge and science and sooner we become STUPID and we never get out from what we called Developing Country.

So The Clerics…. AGAIN, its about PERSONAL MORAL, MANNER and BEHAVIOUR… Your HOME WORK is how to “Brain Wash” the Perverts!

“I Went to college, learned religion since kids, grown up with tight supervision by Parents, raised with moral, obey the rules, good manner, act normal, walk on pavement, doing the Job well, good employee.  Repeat after me “I’M INNOCENT”

Is Jakarta a bad Place to Work?

I choked when I read the tag line in news paper “Is Jakarta a bad Place to Work? Say Aint So”. According to a recent report published in Business week Report, I quote ” Jakarta is the 2nd worst place for expatriates to work in outside of the US, Canada and Western Europe”. The report ranked Jakarta, just below Lagos, Nigeria and above Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. They noted that Jakarta has suffered from pollution, disease, political violence, unavailability of goods and services and several high profile attacks by terrorists targeting foreigners.

After reading this article, I remembered my experiences during the 16 years I have lived in Jakarta. Sadly I have to admit that some of the facts mentioned in the report are true.

But, instead of feeling down about it, let’s take the positive side. We still have some room for IMPROVEMENT. As a good citizen I’ve paid the tax ever since I have started working (and not just since June 2008, when government made it compulsory for every citizen to have their own Tax File Number in Indonesian called NPWP),

I don’t think I am over reacting for dreaming of a ‘Better Jakarta ‘in all senses- not just as a place to live in, not just as the best place for earning money and not just as the best place for entertainment

During the 16years, I’ve had only a few painful experiences. We need to protect the environment and make sure that it doesn’t get worse in the future.

I’ve been threatened with a red axe while I was driving alone in traffic jam by a robber who tried to take my cell phone. I have been threatened by children in street when I refused give them money. I have missed my quality time due to the stress of being stuck in traffic caused by Metromini or Kopaja trying to get across the same intersection before the traffic signal turns red.

Even though I’m from Jakarta but sometimes coping with the traffic is a bit of a problem. I have been upset and desperate, trapped in rally of protesters who used buses to barricade and occupied major roads and intersections, spawning a massive traffic jam in the aftermath. I always worry when the rain comes, because it causes 2 things, flood and congestion. What I could do just… ARRGGHHHH!!

Desperately…. Here some my wishes

• I wish the Government makes a Policy for Demonstration using the idea of a Declared Safety Area. In this policy, government should declare the areas that are either forbidden or Allowed/Permitted for Protesters to do their activities/ to stage a march holding banners or posters. The forbidden areas should include business districts and major areas .It should also club the Protestor’s activities into selected groups. By this policy, hopefully business activities will be well managed and run as usual. As we know, problems always there, and being a democratic state, mass demonstrations/protests cannot be avoided, but that shouldn’t mean that our daily activities should be stopped/messed up
  I wish the Government manages the traffic well, by arranging a public transportation system that can pass through the Business Districts. We already have Trans Jakarta. Why don’t we optimize this Busway? It would be nice if only the Busway that could pass through the streets of Sudirman & Kuningan. Metromini or Kopaja should be allowed to operate only outside the business areas. As we all know, Metromini or Kopaja or Mayasari Bhakti cause many traffic violations and also add to the pollution. They stop anywhere they want, as long as they want; sometimes they stop in middle lane. This needs to stop

• Related to the above mentioned issue of pollution, every day we’re breathing air which is much polluted. Researchers in 2006 found that TSP (Total Suspended Particle) in some sampling points in Jakarta was in the upper threshold (the range is 74.07 and 416.26 micrograms/m3 where as the acceptable quality as determined by government was 92.5 micrograms/m3). Also the nitrogen oxide concentration at all sampling points was under threshold. Yet we have no choice but to inhale these fumes 20 times a minute. Due the increasing gasoline consumption of late, the TSP is getting worse. So it would be helpful if Government applies ‘Emission Checked” strictly to the companies that provide the Bus Services. They could also plant some trees beside the road; build convenient pedestrian walkways with roofs or trees around, so that people will choose to walk to reach the destination just like in Singapore where people prefer to walk from office buildings to other buildings. The Central Jakarta administration already has the “Car Free Day” program for city residents in the last Sunday of the month. Even though on these days dust particle drops by 34% on average, it’s not a complete solution. This program, has drawn complaints because the, government just moved the traffic into outlying roads near Sudirman : Sabang, Tanah Abang., The lanes in front of Sampoerna Tower towards Sudirman are abysmally congested and so is the  reverse side slow lane toward Dukuh Bawah. Reducing the Dust Particles was not worth all the stress caused by the traffic jams

• Floods, I still have no clue about it. But I wish Government came up with the solution sooner than later. Some people have grown accustomed to flood as an annual phenomenon. When the rain comes, people comment “kalau hujan deres gini, banjir lagi deh”. Even my colleague who suffered when the brown & dirty water inundated his home said with a smile in his face “Saya hari ini ijin cuti, biasalah, rumah saya kebanjiran lagi”. Its embarrassing seeing in the news that when the flood attacked Jakarta- the capital city , all the business activities came to a stop and caused losses worth a  million dollars. I think one simple solution is to develop more city parks instead of malls and high rise buildings. I hope that the city builds the East Flood Canal that is linked to the existing West Flood Canal thereby creating a semicircular canal that will channel runoff from the 13 rivers that flow through the capital. All of this will help my dream come true of a “Better Jakarta”.

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